While weddings are a celebration of love, there are many things to consider to make sure your guests have a great time. For example, take bridesmaid dresses. Ensuring that your girlfriends feel just as good doing the wedding as you do is equally important.
Recently, a soon-to-be bride took to the “Am I The A-hole” community to ask people for advice after she found herself in a family drama with her brother and his wife. The good intentions of the teenage daughter who was invited to be one of the bridesmaids were quickly clouded by poor judgment from the girl’s parents.
They don’t like their daughter’s “tomboy” look. Her mother said it would be nice to see her dress like a girl. She said her bridesmaids are welcome to rock any look as long as it matches the wedding color. The user was unsure of how she should handle the situation. Let us know what you think about the story in the comment section below.
The woman got into an argument with her brother and wife after she refused to allow their daughter to wear a dress on her wedding day.
She asked the AITA community if she handled the situation correctly.
Over the years, bridesmaid outfit guidelines have changed. More and more women are allowing their bridesmaids to decide on their own attire. Modern brides want to make their girlfriends feel comfortable during the celebration by letting them choose clothes and accessories that speak to them.
According to Lauren Frankfort, a columnist for Martha Stewart magazine, there are several reasons why women let their bridal party choose their own dresses. “Not only does it take the stress of finding one flattering option off the bride’s plate, but it also allows a group of women with different bodies, style preferences, and budgets to choose a look they love.”
Setting clear guidelines is recommended if you fear things will go out of control: “Make a Pinterest board of styles you love and send along some detailed guidelines. These should include the dress length, color, and fabric you’d prefer.”
The author of the story wanted her bridesmaids to choose their outfits in a specific color, but she wanted them to pick their own style. After reading the post, many applauded the user’s efforts to make her niece feel comfortable at the wedding and said it is reassuring to know the 15-year-old girl is about to get a new cool aunt. Many members of the AITA community were moved by the parents’ words.
Dr. Julia Coffey is a sociology lecturer at the University of Newcastle, Australia. The effects of young people having their looks looked at by others are studied. She wants to find ways to support their well-being by learning how they negotiate their identities.
She found out that people who faced comments about how they looked when they were young had long-term problems with their self-image. “Those who had the most difficult time with [body image concerns] referred back to childhood and felt that their bodies were constantly being commented on by parents and peers and everyone around them,” Dr. Coffey told The Sydney Morning Herald. “They felt they just couldn’t escape it. It was impossible to choose to feel good about their bodies when it was constantly being talked about.”
Parents might want the best for their children. Negative comments about appearance can affect children’s mental health and leave them with a negative mindset towards their bodies for a long time.
“[Parents are] probably just not aware of how powerful those comments can be,” the lecturer added. “And I think that they might think it’s just a normal part of life. And that it isn’t a big deal. That women just care more about their bodies. It’s just part of this norm or narrative and can’t change. But that is completely wrong … It’s completely culturally constructed. But very real in terms of how it’s felt and experienced.”
People should encourage children and teens to direct their energy toward creativity, courage, kindness, and generosity, rather than paying attention to their looks. “It’s not like this cancel-culture type thing, where you’re not allowed to talk about [body image and beauty]. But be aware that if you talk about appearance all the time, you’re saying, ‘I think it’s very important and a source of value’,” Dr. Coffey concluded.
People decided that the bride was NTA (Not The A-Hole).
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