An Australian mother of two told how she met her “soulmate” while she and her husband were traveling for work and how she decided to leave her marriage only to find out that her “soulmate” did not feel the same way about her.
After 14 years of marriage, Amanda Trenfield, who lives in Sydney, wanted to spend more time with her husband. So, she decided to go with him to a three-day work conference in Margaret River, Western Australia.
But when Amanda looked at “Jason” for the first time at dinner on the first night, she felt an instant spark of chemistry that was much stronger than anything she had ever felt before.
She got a divorce so she could be with her “soulmate,” only to find out that he wasn’t interested in being with her romantically. Since then, she had not talked to Jason.
In her autobiography, When a Soulmate Says No, Amanda talks about how she met her soulmate, how she felt connected to him, and what happened after he turned her down. Amanda also talks about what happened to her after she was left alone with no man.
After having a “free-flowing” conversation with Jason over dinner on the first night, Amanda went back to the couple’s hotel, where she found her mystery soulmate offering to buy her and her husband a drink. After Amanda had spent the evening talking to Jason, this happened.
‘It happened to be my favourite rose. And during the course of that evening we just stayed talking … there was a depth of connection I just hadn’t felt before,’ Amanda told Mia Freedman on the No Filter podcast.
The next morning, Amanda went to Jason’s room and asked if he wanted to talk about how they were feeling. He said yes, so she called him back to her room. The two of them went hiking through the woods while her husband was at the conference.
‘I opened the conversation with “I felt strange and very connected to you last night” and he said he felt the same way,’ she said.
That morning, they exchanged “a few kisses” and then went their separate ways, not knowing if or when they would see each other again.
Amanda says that the morning in question changed the way her life would go from then on, but not in the way she thought it would.
A few weeks later, she told her husband that they were no longer married and then called Jason to see if he wanted to get back together.
After agreeing to see her, Jason sent her an email the next morning saying that he thought it would be best if they didn’t see each other or talk anymore.
‘He was there in those moments and felt the connection like I did. He felt the kiss like I did. But he decided to say no and move forward with his life without looking back,’ she said.
Amanda’s choices started a conversation on Twitter that quickly went viral as people were shocked by how she “blew up” her life. One person wrote: ‘Never in my life have I encountered someone romanticising a one night stand that *didn’t even happen*’.
One commented: ‘She was convinced they had a connection but I see no evidence they did. She just projected onto a random dude because she was unhappy. Which we’ve all been there but we don’t uproot our lives for it.’
A third added: ‘Yeah, the “I ditched my husband kids of 14 years to live my life with you after meeting you once because you’re my soulmate” might have been coming on a bit strong, no wonder he said um, no.’
One person said that Amanda’s kids might need therapy when they are older because they read her book. This person wrote: ‘I want to read the POV of the “two young children” when they grow up.’
Another commented: ‘Therapist: so why are you here today. Kid: *SLAMS this book down on the table*’
On the other hand, some people agreed with Amanda’s choice to leave her husband.
‘I don’t really find this embarrassing. She obviously hated her life and the emotional zing of a crush was all she needed to end it all,’ one wrote.
Another said: ‘This seems normal and fine, maybe I’m missing something? Like, I get that it’s embarrassing to fall into limerence and get rejected, but is that worse than staying in an unhappy marriage?’