“I don’t want her on the dock or on my boat.”


Freya, the Conqueror.

No one does it better than Freya, Sinker of Ships, and solo travel icons.

On a grand European tour, this giant walrus, easily distinguished by an adorable pink spot on her nose, has been sleeping and sunbathing on a number of seaborne vessels. She has been seen off the coast of Germany, Scotland, and the Netherlands, as well as on the roof of a Dutch submarine.

This massive mammal has chosen chaos after arriving in Norway. The 1,500-pound Freya has been sinking smaller Nordic boats left and right in her pursuit of sunny naps.


Harbored rage.

Some boat owners who dock at the new Nordic digs are not happy about it.

“I don’t want her on the dock or on my boat,” one angry marina goer told German broadcaster Deutsche Well.

Local authorities and marine scientists have come up with a plan. According to NBC, Freya will be given a floating dock that is worthy of her heft. Once she’s taken to it, officials will carry her to a new home along the coast.


The chaos of the walrus.

Walruses are exceedingly uncommon in these regions, which has made Freya a celebrity. It’s not clear why she ended up down South, she’s usually found in the north.

We know boats aren’t cheap, and we sympathize with people who have had their crafts damaged or destroyed by the famous walrus’ blubbery mass. The plot to diffuse the situation goes according to plan if Freya likes the custom-made floating dock.

We have to admit. As far as damage is concerned. This is awesome.