Parenting and welcoming a newborn has never been easy. The pandemic made the whole situation worst. For expecting moms and dads, it’s not been easy to deal with the trauma of dealing with the situation. New questions and doubts are raised at every level putting them to worry more.
One couple took it too far. User No_Letter_1344, a 34-year-old mom who gave birth to her son on Christmas Day, sparked a debate in a recent post on r/AITA. She reveals some rules that the couple made for guests to meet their newborn.
Expecting your guests to maintain distance from your child if they carry any infection is a reasonable thing to expect. But hoping they could do household work or bring an expensive gift in blowing things out of proportion.
The woman asked in the community whether she was in the wrong for not bending the rules for her sister-in-law, who “studies in a different part of the country” and rarely comes home. Read on for the full story and share your thoughts in the comments below!
A woman shared a list of strict rules she and her husband have for visiting their newborn baby on r/AITA
She asks if she’s in the wrong for refusing to bend them for her sister-in-law
No_Letter_1344’s story has got more than 13.1K upvotes and 6.2K comments in just a few days. The post had some decent request in the beginning but quickly turned sour when the author mentioned her unreasonable demands. “Before you ever come, no matter how many times, you will be given a list of food or groceries to bring with you AND a chore for a list of your choosing,” the user wrote.
It was awful not allowing the sister-in-law, a 20-year-old college student to not met her nephew. She couldn’t afford the thing the couple mentioned in their list. But she still offered help to clean the house just so that she couple meet her nephew. However, the parents weren’t ready to bend their rules.
Which rules for visitors really matter?
It is needless to say that a parent goes through a lot while adjusting to the newborn. Expecting the visitors to maintain a distance or keep a particular time to visit the newborn and the parents is something that is valid and must be understood by all.
Sarah Goldberg, a pregnancy massage therapist, and childbirth educator, told Hiptoro who and when can the baby and mom see is a decision that should be in the hands of the parent . “When a baby is born, they [ideally] need undisturbed skin-to-skin contact for a minimum of 90 minutes; that’s when all the baby’s hormones and mother’s hormones are working really hard to bond and connect,” she explained.
“Your time in bed snuggling and cuddling your baby is imperative for a healthy postnatal recovery, so I implore rest, rest, rest—and rest does not happen when you have a thousand visitors.”
Some parents prohibit picking up their children or kissing them. Archana Koirala, a pediatric infectious diseases physician, said it’s important to understand that “babies need to be cuddled, they need to be touched, they need to be loved. So when you say, ‘No, you can’t do this, you can’t do that’, you’re actually providing restrictions potentially on a newborn’s development.”
Also, if you have a visitor who smokes, it is important to have a conversation with them. Smoke can have a dangerous effect on the child. Thus, expecting the smoker to wash their hands, change their clothes and avoid smoking around the child is essential.
It can be a difficult conversation to have. However, you should choose what is best for your child and be firm about it.
Redditors unanimously agreed that the OP was acting like a jerk, here’s what they had to say