A mother who has lost two sons has talked about how they both died thirteen weeks apart.
Mikey Matthews, Patrice Matthews’ oldest son, killed himself when he was 18. This happened just 13 weeks after his brother PJ, who was 17 at the time, did the same thing.
The mother said that when she looked into her son’s eyes at the grave while she was burying his brother, she had a terrible feeling that she would lose another son.
I knew the day I buried PJ, I was losing Mikey.
As the anniversary of PJ’s death approaches on New Year’s Eve, Patrice talked about it on LMFM’s Late Lunch show.
Patrice said that the two boys were born 13 months apart and couldn’t live without each other. On New Year’s Eve 2021, PJ ended his life tragically by killing himself. When his mother saw the “devastation” on Mikey’s face, she “felt there was nothing I could do for him.”
The mother continued to talk about PJ by saying the following about his personality:
He was a character. He would push you to the edge and be the first to try new things.
He left school after the fifth year because he was mad to work. He was great with his hands and could take anything apart and put it back together again, especially tractors and vintage tractors, which he loved,
she continued.
Patrice told how, in the week before Christmas, PJ used the money he saved from working to buy Christmas gifts. The next day, Christmas, he spent time with his family to honor his ancestors before going out to celebrate with his friends.
The rest of Patrice’s family went out to eat to celebrate her niece and nephew’s birthdays. When they got back, Patrice’s nephew and his friends were there, singing. But the mother said that within an hour, “something changed,” and her son “became very upset.”
He was inconsolable and wouldn’t tell me what was wrong. I remember going outside to talk to him and I coaxed him up to the bed and I sat at the end of it,
Patrice said.
He then bolted up and said he had to go and clear his head.
I followed him but saw he was walking up the lane to the farm behind the house. The yard lights were on and I thought his dad was up there with the cattle so I left him for five minutes,
she added.
PJ’s mother told him to go back to the main house when she saw him crying in the medicine shed. PJ went there to pick up some medicine. After that, he walked ahead of Patrice, so she “thought” he had gone back inside the building. But he hadn’t gone home yet, so she sent him a message. He wrote back that he was on his way, but she never saw him again.
I’d a sick feeling and just knew we would need an ambulance,
Patrice said. Tragically, she found the dead body of her son and remembered hearing screams, but she said:
Then I realized it was actually me screaming.
After being called, the emergency services didn’t take more than a few minutes to get there. Post that, PJ had to be taken to the hospital, but he died the next day, on December 31.
After having a hard time coming to terms with her loss, the sad mother’s eldest son, Mikey, also killed himself just 13 weeks later. During this time, the mother found it hard to deal with the deaths of both of her children.
He was 18. I couldn’t force him to go to a doctor or get help even though I spoke to him at length about it,
she said.
On the day that he had died, I left to go to the funeral of a family friend who had died by suicide and, as I went out the door, I said ‘I love you, Mikey’. He rolled his eyes at me, laughed, and said ‘aye!
After some time had passed, the teen’s worried friends got in touch with the mother because they were worried about a text message from Mikey.
At 11:50PM my son Conor came running in the back door looking for help after he and friends had found Mikey in the same field where he had been fencing earlier,
she said.
The mother freely admitted that she worries about her other three kids, who are all getting counseling to deal with the effects of their loss. She said:
Our house isn’t the same anymore. Even the silence is different. Everything is different.
Since then, Sandra and Patrick Byrne, who are friends with Patrice, have set up a program called SAFE Castlebellingham. This is a program that helps people who are having trouble with their mental health by giving them counseling in their own communities. Residents of the area have given the idea a lot of praise and support, and some of them have even offered to help.
On the “Safe Castlebellingham” page on GoFundMe, people can donate money to the cause.
