Only a person who has been grown up in foster care knows how terrible it feels to be not able to live with parents. A 34-year-old Barry Farmer knows this feeling. That’s why he decided to become a foster father with a local agency.
He decided this when he was just 20 years old. And now, he’s raising his three adopted sons as a single parent. He works as a radio host of The Barry Farmer Morning Show.
He met his first placement a year after he got his foster parent license. At that time, a 16-year-old teenager stayed with Farmer for six months, then two months later, Farmer received another call. “They asked if I want to try another teenager or do I want to go with a 7-year-old,” Farmer recalls. “[I thought] ‘Why don’t we go with the 7-year-old and see how it is going to go?’ It seemed like I could be a little more active and take him places.”
“This child, in my head, is Black,” Farmer recalls. “When I got there, he was just the whitest white child that I ever worked with.” He continues, “I thought, ‘Wow, this is going to be interesting.’ Because I have no clue what I am doing.” Despite their physical differences, the two bonded immediately, and Farmer understood that Jackson just needed a family. “He was so loving and caring,” Farmer recalls. “He just wanted some hugs and to call me Dad.”
That was when Farmer, who was just 22 at the time, decided to adopt Jackson. “You’re responsible for somebody else’s life on purpose,” he says. “Going from true strangers, we built a bond in six months where we felt comfortable enough to be father and son.”
Shortly after finalizing Jackson’s adoption in 2011, Farmer was already considering extending his family. “We were on our way back from the courthouse and I heard a little voice in the backseat saying, ‘So am I going to have a brother?’ and I’m like ‘I just became your dad like 30 minutes ago can we just calm down?’” Farmer reveals. “Once I was taking care of him, he did need a sibling.”
In 2013, Farmer adopted then 11-year-old Xavier. Then, in just over a year, he welcomed 4-year-old Jeremiah into the family, and later officially adopted him in 2016. “We have a bunch of laughs,” Farmer says. “That really brought us all together. Every time we did it, they got to meet some of my extended family along the way.”
“Fatherhood has been everything I imagine it to be because I’m the father I wish I had growing up,” he says. “I’m involved, I’m there when my boys go to sleep and when they wake up.” The proud dad adds, “I’m their biggest cheerleader when helping them achieve their goals. I try not to miss a beat in their lives. I take the responsibility of being their father very seriously and never for granted.”
“This is about the hundreds of thousands of children who need permanent homes and closure on their traumatic past and how we need hundreds of thousands of individuals to step forward and help them,” he says. “There is no need to be afraid of older children in America waiting for their forever homes. They need your understanding, your compassion, and your guidance.”
Check out photos of Farmer and his sons below and find out more about his story on his website.
This is Barry Farmer and his three adopted sons, Jackson (now 19), Xavier (17), and Jeremiah (11).
Farmer was raised by his Grandma Cora, who took him in when his own parents couldn’t care for him.
Inspired by her kindness, he became a foster parent when he was just 20 years old.
He adopted Jackson in 2011, and later adopted Xavier and Jeremiah.
He’s happily raising all three as a single dad, and wants to encourage others to consider fostering and adopting.
