A wedding can be dramatic and especially when there’s an ex and some jealousy is involved in the story, the drama increases.
Take redditor Weddingproperty’s post on the AITA subreddit as the perfect example of how some happy couples don’t have a sense of boundaries and think that everyone should dance to their tune, come hell or high water. The redditor explained how an ex, Carla, and her fiancé, Rick, wanted to have their wedding ceremony on his lovely, large, open property.
Sounds a bit awkward, but heck, we’re all adults, right? We can get past this! However, Rick only recently found out that the redditor and Carla had dated way back. In a fit of jealousy, he uninvited the redditor and that should’ve been that. However, Rick and Carla still wanted to have their wedding at the man’s property! And that’s when the minor drama turned major. All because Carla kept a secret from her partner.
Have a read of the full tale, and share your verdict in the comments. Oh, and we had a quick chat with a relationship expert about how to defuse toxic fights that eat away at the foundations of a relationship. Learning how to cool down and stay calm can protect both parties from a lot of stress. And, by extension, it prevents your guests from soaking up the fallout from your lack of communication.
A couple uninvited one of their guests but still wants to have their wedding on his property. He refused
Relationship coach Alex Scot told us that when you’re in a fight or a tough spot in a relationship that makes you so angry you want to shut down all communication with your partner, you have to focus on self-soothing.
“When we take the time to calm our nervous systems, we are actually allowing our brains to access the prefrontal cortex—the section of the brain in charge of logical decision-making—which goes offline when we are emotionally flooded. A great way to go about this (and the tactic I teach to my clients) is to request a time-out,” the expert said, pointing out that good communication helps avoid drama, toxicity, and serious relationship problems. Pulling back for a moment and collecting yourself is healthy in the long run.
“This means saying something like, ‘I’m feeling really emotional right now and would like to take a break. Give me 45 minutes to calm down and we can come back to this.’ If your partner has an anxious attachment style this can feel like potential abandonment at first, so be prepared to reassure them, give them a time frame, and come back when that time is up,” Alex explained.
And if Rick and Carla could have solved their issue of her being the redditor’s ex with less drama, it’s very likely that the original poster wouldn’t have been uninvited and wouldn’t have to be dealing with the emotional fallout of a secret.
Redditor Weddingproperty shared how he was being pressured by the happy couple, as well as by a few friends, to still give his home to them for the wedding. Frankly, that sounds like a lot to ask from someone who got uninvited.
There doesn’t seem to be any thoughts of sabotage running through the original poster’s mind—he simply doesn’t want to be driven out of his own home, letting guests run wild.
It’s a delicate situation, but personally, I believe that the redditor is definitely within his legal, moral, and socially ethical rights to refuse the bride and groom’s request. And plenty of redditors believes so, too. But I’m very interested in what you have to say. Would you have done things differently? How would you have acted if you were in the redditor’s shoes?
Here’s what some people had to say about the wedding drama