Balancing professional and personal life is an art that almost no one has been able to achieve. No matter what you do or how hard you try to manage, work-life take over your personal life. But when you have a loving partner who understands your needs and supports you no matter what, you can cope with nearly anything, right? Of course!
However, not everyone is blessed enough to have a loving and understanding partner. And this certainly was not the case for Redditor Anna34757. A few days ago, she shared a troubling story on the AITA subreddit about how her fiancé took drastic measures to get back at her for a minor argument. Giving you some deets into the story: Anna had a tight deadline to finish an important project that could lead to a potential promotion at work.
So, when her fiancé insisted she comes with him to a friend’s birthday party, she apologized and said her work is just too important. Well, this wasn’t good enough of a reason for her SO. He felt the need to get even after Anna “embarrassed him by forcing him to go alone and get weird looks and questions from everyone.”
Scroll down to see how the story unfolded and tell us what you think about it in the comments.
Redditor Anna34757 shared a story about her fiancé’s drastic measures to get back at her for refusing to come to his friend’s birthday party
“When it comes to heated arguments in a relationship, partners often do things they later regret. But wiping the author’s entire project from her computer is a whole other level of disrespect. As we found out from the post, Anna worked hard and wanted to prove herself worthy of the promotion. So when the fiancé could not stand his public image somehow getting ruined, justifying his actions by saying it was “classless and socially unacceptable” for him to attend the party alone, he showed a serious lack of support.”
“The author mentioned later in the comments her fiancé comes from a family that cares a lot about their image. We may only guess that seeing her excel at her job and be so close to reaching another milestone in life could look to him as a potential threat.”
“It’s challenging to work toward your goals when your partner does not have your back. It’s especially hard when their behavior includes an element of manipulation. Sadly, some people feel insecure about their SO’s victories, and even end up discouraging them and hindering their growth.”
“When we talk about others sabotaging our progress or success, we almost immediately think of control,” therapist Cynthia Catchings, LCSW-S, told Talkspace. “This control can come in a direct and obvious way or it can be in the form of subliminal control. We have to remember that control is not always accompanied by fear or force. It can also be present in subliminal ways.”
“She pointed out that manipulation, pinpointing insecurities and weaknesses, diminishing your successes, not providing emotional support, and talking about you in a negative way are some of the signs people should be on the lookout for.”
The most common reason for sabotaging is insecurity, fear of abandonment, or jealousy, the therapist argued. “Another reason might be the lack of trust,” she added. “Success might come with extra attention from others and this might scare some individuals, creating mistrust.”
“Recognizing the sabotage is just the first step. Avoiding making excuses for our partner’s negative behavior is the second one.” Well, the author of this post mentioned in the comments that her fiancé’s behavior has crossed pettiness and is becoming worse. She is already sick and tired of her fiancé’s inappropriate actions, so she seems to be on the right track.
If your partner is constantly letting you down, reducing your self-worth, or is generally making life difficult for you for the smallest reasons, don’t stay silent. You should sit down and have a sincere conversation. “Be honest and talk to your partner about what you see, think, and feel and be open and clear communicating the need for the sabotaging behaviors to stop,” Catchings suggested.
“At the end of the day, we all want to be with someone who’ll listen to our problems, boost our confidence, and be there for us whenever we have any doubts. Even if there was a hidden meaning behind the fiancé’s action, if he continues to behave this way, the relationship will start to quickly crumble.”
Commenters unanimously agreed that the author was NTA, here’s what they had to say