Christmas is around the corner because the holidays are upon us. It’s a time for family, a time for lights, and a time for some truly disturbing decorations.

The Christmas decorations below are sure to make the season merry and bright. It will make you laugh as you roast chestnuts around the fire.

 




Wishing you a crappy X-mas.

Mr. Hankey, is that you? Was this photo taken in Colorado? I’m grasping straws, trying to come up with an explanation as to why a mall would decorate a giant pile.

 

The person who did this must be fired right away.

It seems that someone was trying to be a little Grinchy and get back at the powers that be by arranging a naughty polar bear scene. Why does the one look like a jacked mouse?

 

X-Mas came early this year.

You know I had to go there. You should not decorate a palm tree during the holiday season. If you live in a climate that doesn’t have evergreen trees, buy a fake one.

 

It’s a wreath from hell.

This wreath is very similar to the one from Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas. The person that tries to eat everyone in the house? If I look away, I feel like this thing will start moving.

 

Are the X-Mas trees or…

I can’t be the only one who sees it. Is the holiday shop sure that they didn’t get a box of inventory sent to them by mistake? I know who I’d be calling if there was a sex shop in that plaza.

 

Just gonna have a French toast.

I think it’s safe to say that I won’t be liking pancakes any time soon. You should always have an extra set of eyes to look over your work.

 

My true love gave this to me on the 4th day of Christmas.

There are four giant pairs of panties. Is the person stringing the lights just not interested? The lights will get people in the mood, but not for Christmas.

 

You’re an animal, Santa!

Santa did what now? He was wearing a hat. I don’t know about you, but that sounds like the beginning of a poorly written Dr. Sess book is a rip-off. I think they’ll be extras come the new year.

 

There’s some real workout going on in Santa’s chimney.

Santa is tired and worn down. If you had a bunch of strange kids crawling in and out of your chimney all day, you’d be a little worse for it.

 

It’s not what you think it is.

Be honest. How many of you thought it was a giant toe, instead of a baby Jesus ornament? The artist might have run out of paint. Brown on brown isn’t working.

 

Not sure if they’re headless snowmen or Santa’s toy bags.

I’m not sure what these are. You can’t tell me that they don’t look like headless snowmen because they are sacks of toys.

 

These Santas aren’t spreading a good message.

If you know what I mean, these Santas look like they just took a long walk off of a short pier.

 

Santa, is that a corn cob pipe in your pocket?

What will they come up with next? I know that sounds crude, but is it really that big of a reach? Look at those happy smiles on their faces.

 

Whoever said you can’t make it to Santa’s good list, wasn’t trying hard enough.

I don’t think there’s anything ambiguous or open to interpretation with this one. The elves are having their candy canes looked at in a very suggestive way.

 

What exactly is still seeking him?

It is supposed to say “Wisemen still seek him”. You can clearly see that it doesn’t. This is the kind of thing I would expect to find on my nana’s front porch. She would be completely unaware.

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