Tired of seeing quotes that try to feed you? Sickened by motivational quotes? You are not alone! We would rather twist an ankle than read something like that. We will join our forces and find the most comfortable middle ground in these Demotivational quotes of which we have gathered loads, and each of them is as good a mockery as any!
What should you expect from these quotes? Will they take your life force away from you? Maybe they will take the joy out of you. Well, neither! What these non-quotes about life will do is make you laugh in a very ironic way, where your face makes a smirk and you start to feel amusement in your eyes. These quotes are actually inspiration masked in a ghillie suit of ornery words that should be read as irony. You already know that and will read these silly quotes as a source of entertainment, rather than wishing to bring yourself down.
We should stop wasting our time with this gabble and go straight to the real deal here – our wonderful, captivating, and a truly glorious selection of demotivational quotes. They are, as you might know by now, just an iota down below. Do not forget to give your vote and share this article with your friends once you are there.
1.
“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and make bad decisions.” – Marion G. Harmon
2.
“Every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person, so… maybe calm down.”
3.
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.” – Alan Dundes
4.
“Just because we accept you as you are doesn’t mean we’ve abandoned hope you’ll improve.”
5.
“If life doesn’t break you today, don’t worry. It will try again tomorrow.”
6.
“Idiocy – never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”
7.
“People who say they’ll give 110% don’t understand how percentages work.”
8.
“If you never try anything new, you’ll miss out on many of life’s great disappointments”
9.
“A thousand-mile journey starts with one step. Then again, so does falling in a ditch and breaking your neck.”
10.
“If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.” – W.C. Fields
11.
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” – Albert Einstein
12.
“Today is the first day of the rest of your life. But so was yesterday, and look how that turned out.”
13.
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” – Margaret Mead
14.
“Multitasking – the art of doing twice as much as you should half as well as you could.”
15.
“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” – W.C. Fields
16.
“It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
17.
“Just because you are unique doesn’t mean you are useful.”
18.
“Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.” – William Goldman
19.
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” – Drew Carey
20.
“Nothing says ‘you’re a loser’ more than owning a motivational poster about being a winner.”
21.
“The story so far: In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” – Douglas Adams
22.
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” – Dorothy Parker
23.
“Not everything is a lesson. Sometimes you just fail.” – Dwight Schrute
24.
“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.” – Lemony Snicket
25.
“When life knocks you down, stay there and take a nap.”
26.
“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.” – Bette Midler
27.
“Go ahead and take risks – it gives the rest of us something to laugh at.”
28.
“The road to success is always under construction.” – Lily Tomlin
29.
“Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.”
30.
“There’s always someone on Youtube that can do it better than you.”
